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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
 Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:03:17 PM
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I have been working for Symantec, supporting Norton products for customers in US, UK, Canada and Australia for a little more than a week now. Hmm... it happens to be the funniest job in the whole world for a nerd like me.
So, I though I would share some of the high points of staying awake all night and talking to Americans Norton screwed.
All the people who think that BPO employees are a strata below respectable, GET A LOAD OF THIS!!! |
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:08:32 PM
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Customer: I have this thing installed in your computer that has been downloading a file for the past two weeks. I dont know why the net connectoin is so slow. It became slow after installing Norton Internet Security. I want to remove Norton. Remove it now. (Really angry). I want a refund.
ME: Alright, CustName. But, would you mind telling me which application is downloading a file there?
Customer: Man,dont blame it on the application. Its working just fine. Its been downloading a file for two weeks. Come on. Some times the progress bar goes up, but when I open Norton, it comes down again.
ME: Ok. What is the name of that application?
Customer: I dont know, when I open Norton...
ME: CusName, Sir, please. Hold on for a moment. What is the name of the application?
Customer: I dont know.
ME: Please find out...
Customer: Ok... wait...
(3 minutes later)
Customer: Yes, the application is called Memory Turbo and its downloading a file called "Available Physical Memory". Is that a movie? My son downloads a lot of movies.
(What he is seeing is the level of available physical memory. Its not downloading anything. And memory does get used up when he opens up the Norton window. natural)
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:11:59 PM
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Customer: So how's the weather in New York.
ME: Must be pretty fine there, but I am in India
Customer: Wow, my caller Id says that i am talking to New York.
ME: I guess the call got diverted to India
Customer: Hell no... <Click>
ME: Sir, its still toll free. Sir are you there? CustName.... Its FREE...
(Customer had already disconnected the call)
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:17:02 PM
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ME: Click on the start button and select run...
Customer: Oh... I am not that computer savvy you know...
ME: Ok. I will access your computer from here and fix it up ok?
Customer: Great!!!
ME: For that, i want you to open up Internet Explorer...
Customer: hey... I am not a nerd or a genius ok?
ME: Alright. Just get on your home page CustName, and I will guide you through it.
Customer: Ok.
(After a few minutes)
ME: Whats the situation there?
Customer: I dont know.... I mean... what should i do? ... should I connect to the internet?
ME: yes ma'm
Customer: But you told me to go to my home page...
ME: Just a moment ma'm
(At this point, I put the customer on mute and banged my head against the keyboard, which is why I am now the proud owner of a brand new logitech keyboard :) )
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Sree
Administrator
India
390 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:20:11 PM
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seems to be his original experience!
- member of the digging team |
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:20:38 PM
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Customer: Just tell me what to do, I am an expert at computers...
ME: Alright then.. start up msconfig.
Customer: Step by step please
ME: Ok go to the run window and type in...
Customer; Hey...
ME: Alright. Click on the start button.
(After ten seconds)
Customer: I dont have a start button.
ME: Are you using windows vista?
Customer: YES!!! (As if I am the stupidest person in the world to not know that)
ME: Alright, click on the big blue button on the bottom left side of your ...
Customer: I KNOW I KNOW
ME: Ok, what do you see now?
Customer: A window that says uTorrent (He clicked on uTorrent's desktop icon, which is also round and blue)
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:36:46 PM
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ME: CustName, if you would just disable the outgoing email scanning feature, then everything should be fine.
Customer: When I bought Norton 360, I paid for that feature too... I wont disable it.
ME: Just a moment. Let me consult with my supervisor.
(I thought for a while placing the customer on mute. I thought. He was happy with Norton Antivirus 07 which he had earlier. Then he bought Norton 360 which has about 5 times as many features, but he refuses to turn off a minor subfeature that is causing him problems. His record shows that 3 technitians have already tried correcting the problem and failed. So no use in trying again)
ME: Sir, thank you for your patiance. What I can do is that I can give you a FREE UPGRADE to Norton AntiVirus 2008 since you seem to be having a problem with 360.
customer accepted. So instead of turning off one minor sub feature, he agreed to (practically) turning off 4 major features (including outgoing AND incoming email scanning). But the bottom line is, THE CUSTOMER WAS SATISFIED.
The magic words = FREE UPGRADE.
Make sense of that.
If you still dont get it -->> "Norton 360 actually includes Norton Antivirus 08 and its only one of the four major features of Norton 360"
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:41:34 PM
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AnotherTechnitian: So, how may I help you ma'm?
Customer: Can you give me the DELL support number?
AnotherTechnitian: Ma'm, you called up Norton tech support line and waited on hold for 46 minutes to ask us the number for DELL support ?
Customer: Hmmm... yes.
AnotherTechnitian: Please hold on... (He googled the number for her)
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:46:02 PM
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ME: Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Customer: Get me a girl!
ME: Excuse me??!!!
Customer: Yeah... I want one of those Bolly Land girls man... they are so gorgeous... You are in India, right? I want one of them...
ME: Yeah, me too...
Customer: I am gonna come to India and get myself one.
ME: Good luck with that.
Customer: Why?
ME: I've been in India all my life and the best I could get was a white caucasian femaile...
Customer: WHAT?!! Your girlfriend is white?
ME: Yeah, she's from Utah. Just called me asking me to reinstall her Norton 360.
Customer: What the ****?
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:48:25 PM
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ME: So, how may I help you today sir?
Customer: I am legally deaf, and I am partially blind.
ME: Ok. Sir, do you reallise that you have dialled the number for Symantec Technical Support
Customer: yeah yeah. I was just asking you to go slow with the instructions.
ME: Oh! ok. Sorry about that.
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:53:19 PM
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Customer: So, do you have a bike?
ME: Yeah. A pulsar 150.
Customer: Yeah? Never heard of it man...
ME: What about you?
Customer: Mine is... oh.. forgot.... RR or something... yeah R1 i think...
ME: You have an R1?
Customer: I am surprised that you have heard of it... You guys have american bikes there in India?
(R1 is from Yamaha. And its not American) |
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 1:55:58 PM
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AnotherTechnitian: (Deliberately in thick Indian accent) Thank you for calling symantec authorised service centre. My name is Bin Laden...
<<Click. Call disconnected>>
AnotherTechnitian: Thank you for calling symantec authorised service centre. My name is Max. Are you calling in for the first time, or the last time. <<Accidental, i believe>>
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 2:01:11 PM
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Thats this weeks dosage... tell me what you think... This is all real experiance I had on the floor. I will keep updatig on a daily basis. Bye for now
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sky6hi
Advanced Member
India
740 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 2:17:09 PM
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ha ha ha.....
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ashutoshmishra
Most Valued Member
India
2100 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 4:20:30 PM
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Hey Peter Ji, your job seems interesting. Thanks to the Norton Customers in U.S./U.K./Australlia.
Go ahead, your real experience is not less than quality jokes. Keep posting !!
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 4:31:13 PM
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Customer: I have Norton Internet Security installed in my computer
ME: And...
Customer: I get messages from Norton saying that it has blocked attempts to attack my computer
ME: And...
Customer: What?
ME: Sir, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: If I have Norton installed. Why cant it block those attacks?
ME: It IS blocking those attacks. That is what the message says right?
Customer: Huh.... hmmmm.... ? Interesting.
ME: Sir?
Customer: Hmmm..... hey thanks man...
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2007 : 4:33:30 PM
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Customer: (Thick arabian accent) I think my wife cheating on me.
ME: Huh?
Customer: So I install software. Web Watcher, Vernis. I no install, technitian install. They disable some part of Norton 360.
ME: Ok (sigh). You want me to enable all that back?
Customer: Yes.
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sky6hi
Advanced Member
India
740 Posts |
Posted - 01 Dec 2007 : 06:12:59 AM
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ha ha ha ha
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jobbi
Most Valued Member
United Kingdom
1547 Posts |
Posted - 01 Dec 2007 : 6:03:51 PM
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seriously good stuffs......good peterji
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Diana
Head Mistress & Most Valued Member
India
2641 Posts |
Posted - 03 Dec 2007 : 1:51:55 PM
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ALL THE BEST PETER JI.....ahhahahahhahahaha
btw, wud u mind this thread being moved to IT /Software section ????
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sky6hi
Advanced Member
India
740 Posts |
Posted - 04 Dec 2007 : 07:20:14 AM
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diana ji... i think thats the appropriate place...
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 05 Dec 2007 : 5:49:28 PM
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Good, thanks for moving. I was trying to figure out how to move it myself.. hmmm!..
Ahh! Here we go, this happened today.
AnotherAgent: Please click on the start button
Customr: No, I dont have to.
AnotherAgent: Huh?
Customer: My computer is already started. |
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 05 Dec 2007 : 6:28:44 PM
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Customer: Yes, I have Anti-Norton Virus.
Me: Sir, do you mean Norton Anti-virus?
Customer: NO!
Me: Huh, alright sir
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 05 Dec 2007 : 6:30:45 PM
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Customer: ... and I dont have the product key either!
Me: Hmmmm....
Customer: Is there anything you can do? Am I really ****ed?
Me: Well.... that depends, sir.
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Shajan
Most Valued Member
Kuwait
1206 Posts |
Posted - 05 Dec 2007 : 7:16:08 PM
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quote:
Good, thanks for moving. I was trying to figure out how to move it myself.. hmmm!..
Ahh! Here we go, this happened today.
AnotherAgent: Please click on the start button
Customr: No, I dont have to.
AnotherAgent: Huh?
Customer: My computer is already started.
BTW ALL ARE FUNNY
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 4:18:24 PM
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Me: Which country are you calling from?
Customer:hmmmm?
Customer:......
Customer:Hm.
Me: Sir, the country...
Customer: Lennox
Me: Huh?
Customer: Massachussets
Me: Ok. Fine.
Customer: Oh yes, United States of America.
Me; Could you please give me your email address?
Customer: Ahhh... i dont know. Its something... ariola yahoo poontho com....
Me: Huh!
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 4:23:09 PM
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AnotherAgent(Remya): How may I help you today ma'm?
Customer: I want to see India, can you put me through to the tourism department?
Remya: Huh, ma'm this is Symantec Tech Support
Customer: You are in India right?
Remya: Yeah rite.
(She took remote control of the customer's computer and did some image searches on google on the customer's computer all the while giving the customer a running commentatory. I tell you, Norton customer's are a spoilt bunch! :)
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 4:25:52 PM
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AnotherAgent: How may I help you today?
Customer: Yeah, this is Jenny from ***** Ceramics, I still believe that there are job oportunities in your company for us.
AnotherAgent: (ON MUTE) WHAT THE ****!!! Sabeee aliyaa pinnem praanthanmaar. Onnu paranju videdey....
Customer: Hello. Are you there.
AnotherAgent: Yes, welcome once again to SYMANTEC TECH SUPPORT
Customer: Oh! <Click>
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 4:31:14 PM
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Me: How may I help you?
AnotherAgent: Yeah, this is Bindu from SPS Backend department. I have a customer on hold. I will put him through...
Me: Hold on... Just a moment...
AnotherAgent: I will transfer you to the proper department jeffrey. Hold on...
Me; Hey, you cant transfer me, come on...
AnotherAgent: Sir, you need the help of a technical support executive to solve your issue. I will put you through to him...
Me: I am him
AnotherAgent: Jeffrey...
Me: No Peter, from Symantec tech support. You forgot to click that red button.
AnotherAgent: Oh
Me: No, I mean the green button
Customer: What button? Where is (AnotherAgent)? I was talking to her...
Me: Welcome to tech support Jeffrey :)
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 4:34:00 PM
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Today, I tried to fix a guys Norton 360 for 1:26 hours. I was guiding him and he was doing the clicking...
Turns out he was using Norton Internet Security instead. He still thinks he has Norton 360, he wont believe me.
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 09 Dec 2007 : 4:35:51 PM
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Ever tried instructing a woman of 86 years of age, who cannot find the start button and guiding her through the phone to manually uninstall a program? Including registry keys? And temporary installer files? And shared dlls?
Suicidal
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 13 Dec 2007 : 10:00:29 PM
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Some really smart things my customers told me
Customer: This is Texas boy. Any day above ground is a good day over here.
ME: Wow, aint that a quote or what? I am gonna put that in my blog.
Customer: Hey, remember to put my name on it. OK?
ME: Oh of course
___________________________________
Customer: Oh, I am sorry, I am slow and I am stupid and I am working on it.
ME: (What the hell do I say to something like that? All I do is giggle)
Customer: yeah, I know
ME: Atleast you are working on it...
Customer: Huh, Yeah.
___________________________________________
Customer: India is close to Jerusalem right?
ME: Yeah, only a coupla thousand miles from here.
Customer: oh. Ok, what about Iraq.
ME: Only a couple of thousand miles from there
Customer: Oh, that far? hmmm.
ME: India is close to Australia
Customer: Oh yes I know
ME: We are seperated by a thin border
Customer: Yeah? Do you have, like, lots of australians over there?
ME: (What the hell, she believed me? Must be a blonde) No no no... the thin border is pretty strong too....
Customer: Oh!
_________________________________
Spotted in a case documentation by another agent
Resolution: Customer has virus infection, so transfered the customer to the Virus Removal Queue
_________________________________
Stupidest Customer Ever
Anith: Ma'm please restart your computer
customer: How do I do that?
<<Half an hour later>>>
Anith: Please use the button on your tower. The small button
customer: My computer did not come with a tower
<<15 minutes later>>
Anith: Can you find that black box with small lights on it?
customer: I told you I dont have it. None of the HP computers have it. Are you stupid or something?
<<10 minutes later>>
Anith: How do you start your computer?
Customer: I press the button on my hard drive...
Anith: Hard drive?
Customer: Yeah, you guys are stupid.
Anith: Ok. please press that button
<<10 minutes later>>
Anith: Ma'm please let go of the button now...
Customer: Can I?
Anith: Yes, you can let go of it now.
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 14 Dec 2007 : 10:58:01 AM
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I am still at work, this just happened...
Customer: I can connect to the internet if my system is turned off, but I cant connect if my system is on...
ME: Huh.... Did you mean, if norton is on?
Customer: Huh? oh... no. .......................Now I am confused
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peterpawan
Senior Member
India
208 Posts |
Posted - 15 Dec 2007 : 6:50:16 PM
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Customer: Vegas is good. But if you move there and you gamble, in one month you will be standing on the road wearing a sign that says, "Will work for food"
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Topic |
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Tech Support Rocks
